Pregnant Man On Oprah

In a story that seems to be begging to be the subject of an upcoming South Park, a pregnant man appeared on Oprah recently to tell the world his unusual story. Thomas Beatie, a 34 year old transsexual, appeared on the program with his wife, Nancy, to put to rest rumors that Beatie's pregnancy was a hoax. Beatie was formerly a beauty pageant queen before opting for a more penis-centric existence. Read the full story here.

Despite his fears that he and his child will be perceived as abominations to nature, Beatie decided it was best to make this story as public as possible.

"Having this baby doesn't make me any less of a man," he told Oprah. No, but it does make you more of a woman. I for one am excited at the prospect of finally seeing the events of Arnold Schwarzenegger's Junior beginning to unfold in real life, and I hope Total Recall is soon to follow.

Worse News Than Transformers 2? Bill & Ted and Short Circuit Remakes Confirmed

I really wish I could have been there for the brainstorming session that came up with this idea. MovieHole reports that the rumors are true, and a Bill & Ted remake is officially underway. Not a true sequel, reports indicate that this movie will be a relaunch of the series. Think Batman Begins, except with Bill & Ted, and a lot worse. In all reality, this movie will probably more closely resemble the embarrassingly bad Dumb and Dumberer than anything else.

Why would such a film be made? Is there some underground die-hard Bill & Ted fan base that we've all been blissfully unaware of? Even fans of the original films couldn't be tripping over themselves to see some floppy-haired no name actor doing his best Keanu impression.

In other incomprehensible movie news, Variety reports that Dimension is currently acquiring the rights to remake the 1986 film Short Circuit. No news yet on the plot of the forthcoming remake, but I'm hoping it's going to be something along the lines of Rocky IV. After achieving fame and fortune, Johnny Five has become soft and out of touch with the common man. Living a cushy life in his mansion with a personal robot butler, Johnny has to rediscover his humble origins to defend his honor and save America by fighting a cybernetically enhanced Dolph Lundgren.

Dark Sector Review

If you remember four years ago when Dark Sector was originally announced as the first ever Playstation 3 game, than you're a bigger nerd than I am. The game is finally in stores now and chronicles the light-hearted adventures of a secret agent with the unfortunate name of Hayden Tenno. Sent to a fictional former Soviet Republic to fight some bad guy with a beard, Hayden encounters a deadly virus that transforms people into thick skinned magical monsters. As you've probably already guessed, the storyline is convoluted and pretty forgettable, but it never becomes a burden on the game.

The gameplay is basically an exact replica of Gears of War with a heavy sprinkling of Resident Evil 4 thrown in for good measure. The basic movements and gunplay are identical to that of Gears, though developers unwisely removed the ability to fire blindly over pieces of cover. It's all pretty recognizable and honestly kind pedestrian, until Dark Sector pulls of its Trump card: Xena, the Warrior Princess' blade boomerang! They call it the glaive and make no mention of the lesbian cult figure, but when you get right down to it, Hayden's razor blade Frisbee is basically the same thing Xena's packing.Once the glaive starts flying, the fun really starts, as Hayden is able to chop off enemies' limbs, heads, or torsos. In addition, the glaive is also used as a key to some rudimentary puzzles that spice up the gameplay, or as a boomerang to pick up weapons or items. You can even take control of the glaive while it flies through mid-air, directing it to slice up multiple enemies in one toss. While is quite gory and clearly the reason this game was banned in Australia, it's also undeniably fun.

The title, Dark Sector, is a fitting name, as much of the game is so darkly lit that I found it nearly impossible to discern shapes and objects while playing in my sunlit living room. After fighting through what seemed like 4 levels of sewers, I finally emerged outdoors and into a well lit environment. Overly dark settings aside, the game itself is good looking with strong graphics that are enhanced by some well placed destructible objects.

It's not all good though, especially when the game runs out of steam about halfway through. After a certain point everything seems to stagnate and killing enemy troops and infected civilians kind of becomes a monotonous task. In addition, I hated play as the whiny and unlikeable Hayden. He is a lot like Raiden from Metal Gear Solid 2, except somehow with worse hair. I remember reading an interview on IGN with the developers of this game months back in which they described Hayden as a cross between Jack Bauer from 24 and Wolverine. So tell me again how we ended up with this whiny bitch with an emo haircut?

Dark Sector is a solid action title with some legitimately fun gore thrown in, and if you're into that kind of stuff then you owe it to yourself to play this. However, if $60 is still a lot of money to you, and you don't want to play a game that has the lead singer from Hawthorne Heights as its protagonist, you'd probably be better off just renting it.

Preview of the Newest Office Episode

Clearly the worst casualty of the Writer's Strike, the Office finally makes its triumphant return in just over a week! I found this exclusive clip tucked away in the darkest corner of YouTube. Oh, and happy April Fools Day.

Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie - Intro

I got a chance to see the Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film For Theaters on TV last night. I wouldn't recommend watching it unless you're already a pretty hardcore Aqua Teen fan. However, this intro to the movie is pretty awesome. If only the rest of the film could have kept up this kind of energy.

This Post Really Isn't About Britney Spears

By in large, I find that television is overwhelmingly horrible. Most content on TV is unoriginal, obnoxious, and riddled with so many commercials that I usually find myself angry at the inanimate box broadcasting these images into my brain. There are some noteworthy exceptions to the mindless drivel most people watch, (Two and a Half Men? Seriously a lot of people watch this show?) including shows like The Simpsons (seasons 1-11), Futurama, South Park, and The Office. I do not have some special bias towards animated television, it just kind of works out that way.

South Park in particular has found its way into my heart by becoming increasingly more topical as the show advanced. Given the freedom to create an episode in weeks, as opposed to months for shows like The Simpsons, South Park has been able to lampoon topics still fresh in minds of the informed public. I missed the first two episodes of season 12 over the past two weeks, but was delighted to discover that Comedy Central has decided to stream all 12 seasons of South Park through a fully sanctioned website, called South Park Studios. They do have some short advertisements that cannot be skipped over, but it's still leaps and bounds above watching it with TV commercials.

The second episode of season 12, entitled Britney's New Look, documents the tragic tale of Britney Spears and her continuing fall from grace. The show depicts Britney as a immature woman who no longer maintains the mental stability to make prudent decisions for her life or career. The paparazzi is illustrated, rightfully so, as bloodthirsty vultures who, along with the American public, conspire to drive Britney to suicide. The usually sardonic show illustrated what can only be called sympathy for Ms Spears, as Stan and Kyle tried to take Britney to the North Pole to escape the prying judgmental eyes of the media.

Now, let's all take a deep breath here before any body calls me the next Chris Crocker. I realize that Britney Spears made seemingly conscious decisions to shave her head, repeatedly flash her hooha, and stay in the paparazzi infested waters of LA, and for all these reasons its understandable that she has been shat on. However, like Stan and Kyle, I find myself thinking that maybe enough is enough. Maybe we should just leave Britney alone.

South Park made a valid point by explaining that it is not only the paparazzi and shows like ET and TMZ that are to blame for Britney's inevitable suicide. It is the average American who chuckles at her dazed VMA performance, or the average college girl who religiously reads Us Weekly or People who share the blame. Those pictures the paparazzi take are worth so much money because average semi-intelligent girls leave The Economist or The New York Times on the rack while they gobble up the celebrity gossip rags.

Instead of following what Britney does, let's take a look at what's happening in Iraq, or Tibet perhaps? Maybe you could do some research on indoor pollution? Or maybe, just maybe, you could find out who's running for president? That last one is a bit of a stretch, I know. I know it's not scandalous or fun to live vicariously through the life of kid starving in Africa, but I think they'd actually be happy to be the subject of a magazine or gossip show.

So maybe this post was in some way about Britney Spears. And maybe I'm just as guilty as everyone else.

Can't We All Just Get Along?

I try to avoid playing video games in front of my parents. It gives them less opportunities to question why I'm playing a game instead of looking for a job. Whenever they do manage to catch me in the act of gaming I get a barrage of quietly uttered comments expressing disapproval to whatever my character is doing on screen. Since I'm usually playing Halo 3 or Call of Duty 4, something violent is almost always happening.

My parents really know very little about gaming, save for whatever misguided attempts I make to enlighten them. They, like many in their generation, view gaming as an overly gruesome distraction which channels the creative output of many young boys into a mindless and worthless fantasy. Whenever they hear about games in mainstream media, it's usually as a result of social or political outcry to the newest RockStar game, or a murder case with video games as the prime suspect.

I always stood in opposition to stories such as these, insisting that while video games may be violent and gratuitous, they are also carefully and clearly rated for appropriate ages and offer nothing different from R-rated movies and late night television. I still stand by these statements. That being said, I'm ready to admit that currently there is a bit too much gunplay in video games.

FPS's, or First-Person-Shooters, have always had a special place in the hearts of gamers and activists alike. Their popularity is at an all time high right now, thanks to an Xbox 360 console that seems to be used primarily as a vehicle for online FPS's like Halo 3 and Call of Duty 4. Hundreds of thousands of gamers virtually brutalize each other daily through these two incredibly deep and polished titles. Tomorrow, March 18th, another high profile shooter hits stores, with the release of Tom Clancy's Rainbow 6 Vegas 2. Ridiculous name aside, the title promises another meticulously crafted shooting experience, with a refined and dynamic online multiplayer. While part of me absolutely wants to buy it, I find myself somewhat conflicted.

We (360 owners) already have two of the most popular and most sophisticated online FPS on the market, do we really need another one? I obviously love online fragging, as anyone who knows me personally will attest, but when is enough enough? Imagine if all the resources and manpower that go into creating that intense and brutal gunplay were directed elsewhere, say into games like Shadow of the Colossus or Katamari?

It makes perfect sense that so many of these games targeted at American consumers. America's military technology is always at the forefront of our scientific innovations and discoveries. I guess it should come as no surprise that the country constantly trying to invent the newest, most advanced weaponry ever devised has a video game industry obsessed with emulating it.

If this FPS-crazed market continues, as it appears it will, can we at least ask for some more variety within the shooting genre? Space Marines and WWII are both cool, but we've been down those roads too many times. Prey did have some cool ideas but it failed to truly expand upon them and create anything new. Turok took a step backwards with it's latest release, as the title character was inexplicably changed from a Native American into a much more generic space Marine. Even a game like Gears of War, while not in reality a FPS, (FPS designates a first-person camera perspective, while in GoW the camera is in a third person perspective) certainly had the all too familiar iconography of gruff future Marines killing alien monsters. Even with a brilliant game like BioShock, which certainly stands out proudly among the repetitive military shooters, the case can be made that it's merely a rehash of System Shock 2.

I love shooting and blowing stuff up in a virtual environment more than anyone I know, and yet I find myself wanting something more. I think I've begun to take games like Halo 3 and CoD4 a bit too seriously, so much so that playing them online feels almost like work. Give us some games that challenge our expectations, not just our reflexes.